It’s Time to Change

Jonathan Rauch explains why gays and les­bians need to be more, well, nice:

[W]e—gay Americans and our straight allies—have won the cen­tral argu­ment for gay rights. As a result, we must change. Much of what the gay rights move­ment has taken for granted until now, and much that has worked for us in the past, is now wrong and will hurt us. The turn we now need to exe­cute will be the hard­est maneu­ver the move­ment has ever had to make, because it will require us to delib­er­ately leave room for homo­pho­bia in American soci­ety. We need to allow some dis­crim­i­na­tion and relin­quish the “zero tol­er­ance” mind-​​set. Paradoxical but true: We need to give our oppo­nents the time and space they need to let us win.

In other words, while it was wise for gays to argue stren­u­ously and never give their oppo­nents the ben­e­fit of the doubt, gays can now be kind and gra­cious to their opponents—and they should be. If gays can keep the high ground, they will be able to win the argu­ment with their oppo­nents while main­tain­ing influ­ence as a cohe­sive group.

If, on the other hand, gays and their allies shout down their oppo­nents, they may end up win­ning the argument—gay mar­riage is com­ing, like it or not—even as they dis­solve into meaninglessness.

Two ques­tions, though, for Mr. Rauch:

  1. In the end, does it mat­ter whether gays are “nice” to their oppo­nents? After all, as he pointed out, gays are likely to win the argu­ment based on num­bers alone. (The young favor gay rights more than the elderly. The elderly die and the young rise with their views ascen­dant. Ergo, the gays win.)
  2. And if the cen­tral argu­ment of gay rights is to be treated the same—to be allowed to be nor­mal, to be treated as nor­mal middle-​​class citizens—won’t the move­ment have a hard time main­tain­ing cohe­sion anyway?

H/​t Eugene Volokh.